


It's Gun' Be Okay, Al.

by TooGay4Dis



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alan is so smol, Eric x alan, Everyone Is Gay, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Musical Kuroshitsuji: -The Most Beautiful DEATH in The World- Sen no Tamashii to Ochita Shinigami, Poor Alan, Ronald doesn't care, Shi No Toge, Shield him, Shinigami, Some Fluff, Thorns of Death, eric slingby - Freeform, i need to stop, probably angsty, will is an ass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-18 09:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7308874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooGay4Dis/pseuds/TooGay4Dis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After having an attack on collections duty with Grell, Alan finds out he has the thorns of death. Distraught, he forces Grell to keep quiet. Will the other Dispatch members notice Alan's inner turmoil? But most importantly, will Eric discover what's happening to his student and partner?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Something's Wrong...

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is like, my first fanfic using this site so currently I have no bloody idea what I'm doing. Anyways, Eric and Alan aren't together yet (neither is Knox and our darling William) but that's about to change real soon!

William T. Spears quickly readjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose. It was the beginning of a new day and he was already filling in paperwork and awaiting the arrival of his workers. He sighed softly, eyeing up a huge stack of paperwork that had to be completed by the end of the day.  Honestly,  He thought.  the amount of overtime I'm going to have tonight...  There was a knock at the door.  
  
"Enter." He called, looking up from his stack of papers. A small brunette entered the room and bowed quickly to him. "Ah, Humphries." Spears greeted. The smaller Shinigami nodded.   
  
"You wanted to see me, Sir?" He asked softly.   
  
"Yes. It seems that Sutcliff has been slacking off recently with his workload." He eyed the large stack of papers again with a small scowl. "So today I want you to go on collections with him." Alan's eyes widened slightly. "I know you are used to going on assignments with Slingby but it is just this once, I assure you. I need someone to keep an eye on Sutcliff and make sure he doesn't get into trouble."  Or go after that demon.  He thought bitterly.   
  
"Of course, Sir." Alan bowed his head respectfully.   
  
"Here is the list of souls to be collected today." Spears continued, handing Alan a piece of paper. Alan took it and thanked him before uttering a quick goodbye to his boss and leaving the office.   
  
~*~   
  
"Wha' you got there, Al?" Asked Eric.   
  
"My list of souls for today." Alan responded with a small smile. "I've been paired with Grell on collections."   
  
"Wha'?" Eric's eyes went wide. "Why? We always do collections together, yer me student!" His accent became more prominent in his shock.   
  
Alan smirked. "I  was  your student, Eric. Not now."   
  
Eric scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Yeah well what's Spears got you paired wi' 'im for?"   
  
Alan shrugged nonchalantly. "He just wants someone to keep an eye on him." He eyed the clock on his wall. "Speaking of which, I best get going. See you later,  Senpai.  He teased.   
  
A light blush came across Eric's face. "Alri' alri' see ya soon." He said, patting Alan softly on the back before going to his office.   
  
Alan made his way through the dispatch corridors looking for Grell. A flash of red hit his peripheral vision and he went to catch up with his partner for the day. "Grell-san!" He called. Grell spun around to face him.   
  
"Ah! Good morning, Alan-darling~!" Grell called, batting his eyelashes.   
  
"Good morning, Grell. We've been paired on collections today. Are you ready to get going?"   
  
Grell's face fell slightly. "Do I not get to see my darling Will first?"   
  
Alan shook his head. "I'm afraid not. The first soul needs to be collected soon."   
  
"Ahhn~" Grell swooned. "Love is such a painful brute! Alas, I shall have to see dear William later!" Grell took hold of Alan's arm. "Come, darling! Let's go!"   
  
Alan just shook his head again with a small smile. Grell may be eccentric, but he was Grell and he was pretty sure even William-san wouldn't change a thing about him. They left the Shinigami Realm and ported onto the London streets.   
  
"So darling, who is the first on our list?" Grell asked.   
  
"Eva Smith. She's going to die in the infirmary after drinking bleach." Alan responded, reading from the ledger.   
  
They raced across the large buildings of London until they reached the infirmary. A young girl, no older than her early twenties, lay dying on a hospital bed in complete agony. Alan looked at her sympathetically whilst Grell reaped her soul, watching her cinematic record with a bored expression.   
  
"Same old, same old." Grell grumbled as her soul was collected. "Lost her job, on the streets, has sex, dies." He listed off. "Can we not have something a little more exciting?" He whined. "You can get the next one." Alan nodded. The next soul was to die in fifteen minutes by the Thames. A young man was going to be attacked and murdered. Alan shivered. He never liked these sort of collections.   
  
Soon, they were by the river and the Shinigamis prepared themselves. A blonde haired lad walked past them, whistling a small tune. "That's him." Alan whispered. He wasn't sure why he was whispering, the humans couldn't see nor hear him and Grell.   
  
Suddenly, a group of youths rushed out from behind a stack of crates and attacked the boy. Alan cringed and readied his death scythe. The youths kicked and punched him, ripping at his clothes and taking his belongings. Alan heard Grell yawn from behind him. The boy raised his hands up, trying to shield himself from the blows but receiving no luck as one of the gang members brought out a pocket knife and stabbed him in the abdomen.   
  
Having taken what they wanted, the gang left, leaving the boy to convulse on the floor, covered in blood. His clothes were torn and stained with blood and he just lay there, wheezing. He didn't want to die! Not at the hands of these thugs! He had so much to live for...   
  
Alan walked over to the boy, raising his death scythe above his head. Before he could deliver the blow, however, the boy's cinematic record flew from him. Alan gasped, trying to avoid them but with no success. They snaked across his legs and arms, digging in painfully and he screamed. Grell perked up and summoned his death scythe.   
  
"Finally!" He cried. "Some action!" His chainsaw revved to life and he laughed manically whilst cutting the strips that were holding Alan's body hostage. More strips were released from the body and they wrapped themselves tightly around Alan's chest and he wheezed from the sheer force of the hold. Another strip was released, piercing right through Alan and he screamed again, louder this time. "Hold on, darling!" Grell called and began attacking the strips with more ferocity. Nobody hurts darling Alan! Eric would kill him if he let anything happen to his partner. The strips kept coming but Grell was quicker, slashing them all before jumping towards the body and stabbing it harshly with his chainsaw. The records stopped and Alan was thrown roughly to the ground.   
  
Alan was still wheezing when Grell had finished reaping the soul.   
  
"Alan dear, are you alright?"   
  
Alan nodded but before he could answer he felt a sharp pain in his chest. His eyes widened and he gasped, clutching the fabric of his shirt.   
  
"Alan?!" Grell exclaimed before putting his hands on the smaller Shinigami's shoulder. "Alan, what's wrong? Alan, look at me!" He ordered. Alan looked up at Grell, pain in his eyes as his breaths were harsh and fast. His eyebrows were scrunched up in pain and he cried out grabbing his heart. Grell's eyes darkened. "Oh no..." He muttered.


	2. Eric Mustn't Know!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two! Poor Alan...

Alan kept coughing. He'd been like this for the past twenty minutes and Grell already knew what was happening. He's seen this before: Shi No Toge. The fact that it had manifested itself in Alan broke his heart. Lord knows what it will do to Eric. That man's had feelings for Alan since Alan was still in training.  
  
Eventually, Alan's coughing subsided, but the pained expression never left his face. "It's alright." Grell cooed softly. Grell had pulled the younger Shinigami onto his lap and held his small head in his hands. Alan was like a younger brother to him, just like dear Ronnie. "We need to get you to the infirmary."  To see if my suspicions are correct.  He thought. For once, Grell truly hoped he was wrong.  
  
He ported them both back to the Shinigami Realm and took Alan straight to the hospital. Alan had his arm draped over Grell's shoulder, unable to hold his own small frame. The nurses instantly took Alan, guiding him towards the bed. The attack may have stopped but it certainly took it's toll on the small reaper. Grell could only watch as the nurses took him away, his eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. Who was going to tell Eric?  
  
After a few minutes, a doctor came out into the hallway and spotted Grell. "You were the one who brought Mr Humphries here, am I correct?" His face was grim.  
  
"Yes, he's my friend." Grell answered, his voice was just above a whisper. He knew what was coming.  
  
"I think it's best you go and see him." The doctor said slowly. "It's not good news."  
  
Grell refused to let tears fall. He was a reaper god damn it! He can't show emotions! He mustn't show emotions! But Alan...  
  
Grell nodded and entered Alan's hospital room. Alan lay on the bed, the light from the window giving him a ghostly appearance. His face was pale, with a thin lining of sweat on it and Grell was trying really hard to keep it together for his friend.  
  
"You already know... don't you?" Alan whispered. Grell merely nodded. "That... I'm going to die." He let out a small, barely audible laugh. "A reaper... who controls death... who's going to die of an incurable disease... Shi No Toge."  
  
Grell moved closer to the bed and wrapped his arms gently around Alan. "It's going to be okay, Alan. We'll find a cure."  
  
Alan sat up on the bed. "But don't you see, Grell?!" He cried. "There is no cure! I'm finished. I can never-" He clasped a hand over his mouth, composing himself.  
  
"Never what, darling?" The red haired reaper asked.  
  
"It doesn't matter..." He sighed. "Grell I have something to ask of you." Grell raised his eyebrow and nodded for him to continue. "Please... don't tell anyone. Don't tell Eric."  
  
"So this is what this is about?" Asked Grell. He knew Eric had feelings for the young reaper but Grell had no idea those feelings were returned. "You like Eric?"  
  
Alan blushed. "How can I not?" He said quietly. "But it doesn't matter now." He looked down to the floor.  
  
"Alan, I will do as you ask on one condition:" Grell stated. "ask Eric Slingby out."  
  
Alan nearly choked on his own saliva. "What?! No! Grell you- you can't blackmail me!" He spluttered. "He- he doesn't even like me! He was my mentor for God's sake!"  
  
Grell almost felt cruel for his blackmail. But Alan and Eric both deserved happiness, even if it was only for a short while. "Oh you'll be surprised, my darling little Alan." He smirked.  
  
Alan narrowed his eyes. "You know something I don't, don't you?"  
  
Grell giggled, happy that he was distracting Alan from his thoughts for the moment. He tapped his nose. "Well I'm not going to tell you, darling! You'll have to find out for yourself when you're well enough!"  
  
"Grell..." Alan warned.  
  
"You can be dismissed now, Mr Humphries." A nurse said from the door. "We've observed you and the doctor has concluded that you can go home as long as you don't strain yourself."  
  
"I'll walk you home!" Grell offered. Alan smiled and thanked him.  
  
They both left the infirmary and Grell stayed true to his word, walking Alan to his flat. "Are you going to tell William?" He asked.  
  
Alan shrugged. "I will eventually but I need to come to terms with it myself, first." Grell nodded.  
  
They soon reached Alan's apartment and Alan gave Grell a quick peck on the cheek before opening the door. "Don't forget our deal, dear Alan!" Grell called as he walked away.  
  
Alan rolled his eyes. "I won't!" He called back. "And Grell?" Grell stopped and turned around. "Thank you. For everything." Grell smiled and waved.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hey Boss!" Ronald greeted as he entered Will's office.  
  
"Knox." Will said stiffly, still completing paperwork.  
  
"I- um- I've done all my fieldwork for today and was wonderin' if you needed any help?" He scratched the back of his head nervously.  
  
Will nearly dropped his pen. Did Knox just offer... to do overtime? "Are you sure...?" Will asked uncertainly.  
  
"Yeah! I mean- you've been really busy lately and stressed and that... I figure I'd help out."  
  
Will was taken aback. "Ronald- I- thank you."  
  
"No problem, Boss!" Ron said as he grabbed a small stack of incomplete paperwork. "Mind if I work in 'ere? It'll be a hassle tryin' to move all these when they're done."  
  
"No problem." Will dismissed, motioning Ron to an empty table in his office. "But no distractions."  
  
"Yeah alright." Ron replied and gave a mock salute. Will rolled his eyes and continued with his paperwork, his pen scratching on the paper.  
  
After a few moments of silence, Ron broke it. "Wait... Boss?" Will sighed and looked up from his papers. "Did you... did you just call me Ronald?"  
  
Will froze. He never intended it to slip out. He was the embodiment of professionalism and he just broke that. He never called his subordinates by their first names unless he was angry or new them on a personal level. "Indeed I did. Apologies, Knox, that was unprofessional of me."  
  
"No, no!" Ronald argued. "I... I quite like it actually. I've been trying to get you to call me that for ages." He said, a small blush forming on his face.  
  
Will sighed. "Alright then... Ronald... just get back to work."  
  
Ron grinned. He couldn't believe he actually got William T. Spears to call him by his first name. This was a big victory in his mind.  
  
I wonder how long it'll be before he starts callin' me Ronnie..."  He thought to himself with a small smile.


	3. Looking Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alan looks back over previous events and we take a look at Eric's point of view. (Bloody hell, it's angsty).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the third chapter! This one is a little shorter but it's leading up to something bigger, pinky promise!

Alan sat on the couch in his apartment, thinking over the day's events. The lights were off and it casted a grey shadow across the room. He didn't know what to think. He'd managed to keep it together whilst Grell was there, but now he was alone.  Alone.  That was how it was always going to be from now on. He was born alone and in that moment he knew he was going to die alone too. A small sob escaped his lips and he clasped a hand across his mouth. Why did this have to happen to him? He had spent so long trying to prepare himself to ask Eric out and now it was worth nothing. Eric would never want him now.

Tears escaped the small reaper's eyes.

Alan lay still in the hospital bed until the doctor entered the room. He looked over to him with sadness in his eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Mr Humphries." He said solemnly. "You have been diagnosed with the Thorns of Death." 

"Wh- wha-" Alan cleared his throat. "How... how long do I have?" He asked shakily. 

"It is hard to determine, I'm afraid." The doctor replied. "It could be months, but more than likely you'll have a few years yet." 

"What's going to... happen to me?" He whispered. 

"You'll start off with stinging in the wrists," The doctor started gently. "Perhaps some bleeding. Your veins in your arms will gradually change to a black colour and it will progress up your arm each time you have an attack." Alan's eyes widened. "When an attack starts, the Thorns will enter your bloodstream and attack your organs, until it will eventually wrap around your heart and... you will die." 

"Is... is there a cure?" Alan knew it was futile. 

"I'm sorry, Mr Humphries. There is no cure. We can slow down the disease and give you medication for the pain, but that is all we can do for you. We simply don't know enough to treat it." 

Alan sniffled softly. So this was his fate. He knew he had to tell William eventually. His boss would want to know if something was hindering his work. A part of him hoped that maybe his boss cared. Although, why would he? Why do people put up with him? He's small and frail and  weak.  God, he hated being weak.

~*~

It was a new day at the Shinigami Dispatch Society and Eric sighed softly. He was on collections today with Alan.

Ah, Alan.

Eric couldn't help but have feelings for the smaller reaper. Alan was so polite and well mannered, but he had a stubborn and witty side that very few people got to see. Eric was lucky that he got to see that side of his partner. Those long eyelashes, the way he brushed his hair out of his face, the way he bit the top of his pen softly when he was working. Gods, it drove the Scotsman mad. He wanted to run his hands through that soft hair, he wanted to give Alan everything he'd always wanted and more. So why couldn't he just ask him out?

Because he was afraid. He, Eric Slingby, was afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid of ruining things between himself and his partner. People would take one look at Eric and assume he was straight. Eric snorted at the thought. He was as gay as they came, and quite frankly, he didn't give a shit what people thought of him. He only cared about what Alan thought. Eric already knew Alan was gay and Alan knew that Eric was gay too, so it's not like that was the issue. He just didn't know if Alan felt the same way. He probably didn't, who could blame him? He couldn't even ask Alan out. He was weak. Gods, he hated being weak.


	4. So Much For Not Telling Him

Eric looked up from his papers when he heard Alan walk in to their shared office. His smile quickly dropped when he saw the state of his partner. Alan had large bags under his eyes and was extremely pale. His cheeks were puffy and his eyes were also raw and red. Eric couldn't tell if that was from lack of sleep or from Alan crying.

"Alan?" Eric asked in concern. "Wha's wrong?"

The younger Shinigami quickly smiled. "Oh, it's nothing Eric." He said softly, fiddling with his bolo tie.

Eric eyed Alan suspiciously. "Alri' but ye know ye can come ta' me if ye need someone ta' talk too. I'll listen."

Alan smiled gratefully. "That's very kind of you, but honestly, I'm fine."  Apart from the fact that I'm dying. But not just of the Thorns, dying because I can't tell you... dying because I can never be with you... because I have no future... no prospects... 

Eric still watched his partner as he sat down in his office chair and began filling in paperwork. They weren't to be needed on collections for another hour or so but he figured he'd do some paperwork to avoid overtime. Eric sighed. He wanted to know what was going on with Alan. Why wouldn't he just tell him what's wrong? They were friends... right? Friends tell each other everything.  Friends  He thought bitterly to himself. That's all they were ever going to be at this rate.

He watched Alan as he too started filling in the mounds of paperwork at his desk. Every now and again his eyes would furrow and he would nibble on that damn pen. Eric watched in fascination as Alan thought. What exactly went through his mind? Eric had no idea.

"Hey, Alan?" Alan looked up.  Shit, shit! What do I say?!  "I was wonderin' if ye wanted to go out wi' me?" Eric mentally face palmed. That was definitely not what he was going to say.

Alan visibly blushed at the words. "L-like a date?" He squeaked.

"No! I mean- ye'! I mean- I dunno- it doesn't have ta' be!" Eric stumbled on his words, embarrassed. He had well and truly messed up. Why did he even open his damn mouth? He has for sure ruined their friendship now! It'll be so awkward. He's going to be rejected and-

"Yes." Alan said softly, stopping Eric's mental rant to himself.

"Wha'?" Eric blinked dumbly.

Alan stifled a giggle, his cheeks a dark shade of red. "I'll go out with you... if you want me to."

"Of course I do, Al! I mean- ye' okay." Eric replied, trying to play it cool and failing miserably.

The office lapsed into silence but it wasn't uncomfortable. Eric looked up from his papers to see Alan still blushing, a small smile on his face. Eric grinned to himself.  Alan said yes! Does this mean he likes me back?  Eric couldn't wait to spend eternity with Alan whom he'd waited so long for. Little did he know, Alan was having his own mini battle in his mind.

~*~

Why did I say yes?!  Alan thought to himself. He couldn't back out now! He looked over towards Eric who was grinning to himself. Alan was going to die, god damn it! He couldn't do that to Eric. But he wanted Eric so bad...

He sighed to himself. They were due on collections in a couple of minutes. Hopefully that would take his mind off his current predicament and away from a migraine that was surely about to start if he didn't stop thinking about it. But how could he not? Eric asked him out! Eric asked  him  out! He could almost hear Grell giggling manically.

In his head, he knew he should've said no. But his heart, his thorn-ridden heart said yes. Maybe now he'd have a purpose in life? Well, for what's left of it. He could be Eric's light, helping him through the dark days that were surely to come. In his mind he knew he couldn't hide the truth from Eric forever. It was going to devastate him.

"Come on, Al. We have ta' go." Eric said, rising from his office chair. Alan nodded and stood up, grabbing his scythe from the peg on the wall and handing Eric his. Eric thanked him and smiled softly. Alan's eyes softened as he lost himself in Eric's green orbs. After a few moments, Eric cleared his throat. He himself had been staring at Alan's face, taking in every feature.

Alan blushed softly. "Alright, let's go."

~*~

The two Shinigami jumped the rooftops of the buildings of London. They were to reap six souls today, the first being at the west end. Someone was going to have an asthma attack from the cold weather and die because of it.

The first two souls were collected without incident and now it was down to the third. A four year old girl was going to fall from a tree in the park and crack her head open on the pavement. Alan cringed as he read it from his ledger.

"Do ye' want me to get this one?" Eric asked. "I know how ye' get when it's the lil'uns."

Alan cleared his throat. "No, that's alright, Eric. I'll get it."

As they got closer and closer to the park, Alan felt like his stomach was in knots. He hated taking young lives. They were so vulnerable, innocent. They didn't deserve it! They reached the gate and Alan spotted the little girl. She was wearing a frilly pink dress and she had little blonde pigtails. She climbed higher in the tree and Alan wanted to call out to the little girl and tell her to stop. He knew he couldn't, she couldn't see nor hear him anyway. Where were her parents? Why weren't they here, watching over her? He gulped and readied his scythe.

The girl attempted to climb higher into the tree, only for the branch to snap. She screamed as she clutched onto the tree with only her tiny arms and she struggled to hold her weight. The branch was still damp from the rain and the girl's fingers were slipping. Alan gasped, horrified. The girl tried desperately to cling on but to no avail and she fell, her little body hit many of the branches below her and her dress billowed around her. There was an audible  crack  as she hit the floor.

Alan didn't want to think about it. He just quickly ran up to the girl, not looking at her, and gently slashed his scythe across her midsection. Her short cinematic record began to play. She was being held by a brunette woman with large green eyes, her mother. She smiled as she played with her daughter's hair. The scenes kept changing until it eventually stopped and faded to black.

Alan had successfully collected the soul. He would have been fine, if he hadn't of seen a brunette woman with large green eyes running up to the corpse of the girl, screaming. Alan then finally turned to look at the little girl. Her skull had cracked, blood leaking onto the pavement as the woman picked her up, wailing and yelling. Alan immediately began to feel guilty. He should have saved her! He should have warned her!

It was that guilt, however, that triggered the Thorns in his heart. He gasped as a wave of pain hit him, starting at his wrists and shooting directly to his heart. He clutched his chest, trying not to cry out, keeping his eyes tightly shut.

"Alan!" Eric yelled, running over to him. Eric had been waiting patiently on a park bench until he saw Alan fall to his knees in pain.

Alan couldn't respond. He couldn't breathe. His breaths came short and quick and Eric watched him with wide eyes, panic clear on his face. So much for not telling him. Another wave of pain hit Alan and he cried out, falling into Eric and coughing harshly. Eric held him in his lap, unsure what to do. He stroked Alan's hair softly and tried to calm him. Alan kept coughing and he lurched up violently, coughing into his hand. Blood splattered across his palm and Eric paled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heavy chapter, I know.


	5. Telling William

Eric stared at the blood lacing Alan's palm. "Alan! Wha' the hell is goin' on?!" He yelled.

Alan still couldn't offer a reply, trying to stifle his coughs. Instead, he let out a weak moan, leaning heavily against Eric's chest. Anger bubbled up within Eric. Not at Alan, but at himself. There was clearly something wrong with his partner but he was just too blind to see it. Why didn't he insist on finding out what was troubling him? The anger was quickly replaced with panic, however, as Alan lay limp in Eric's arms.

"Alan? Alan? Alan?!" He shook the younger Shinigami. "Alan wake up!" He shouted hysterically.  Alan's dead! Oh gods, Alan's dead! 

Alan's eyes fluttered and he let out a deep breath. "E-eric?" He whispered.

Eric's eyes widened and he ran his hand gently through Alan's hair, brushing it out of his eyes. "I'm here, flower. Can ye' tell me wha' happened?"

Alan shifted uncomfortably in Eric's arms. "You weren't meant to find out this way." He said quietly.

Eric's eyebrows furrowed. "Find out wha'? Alan, tell me!" He said desperately.

Alan sobbed. "Eric... I'm s-sorry..." He put a hand to his face. "I-I've been diagnosed with t-the Thorns of Death. I'm going to die."

Eric's heart lurched.

"No..." He whispered. "No no no no no! Not  you  Alan! Gods..." He choked.

Alan buried his head in Eric's chest. "I'm s-so sorry!"

Eric held onto his partner tightly, scared he'd disappear. "It's not yer fault, Alan, shhh."

Alan clutched tighter onto Eric's shirt. "After all this time!" He cried. "I was finally ready and then-" He stopped himself.

"Ready for what? Alan?"

Alan blushed slightly. "Ready to ask you out, Eric." He said shyly.

Eric's heart fluttered. "So ye' really do feel the same way?"

"Of course I do!" Alan replied, looking deeply into his ex mentor's eyes.

"Alan..." Eric breathed as he pulled the smaller reaper in for a kiss. The kiss was tender and Alan moaned softly in content. They had both waited years for this moment and they savoured it. Alan's lips felt soft against Eric's and Eric moved Alan so he was in an upright position.

It was getting dark in the park but neither Shinigami cared as they shared their loving embrace, willing the moment to last forever. Alas, it could not, and they reluctantly broke apart.

"I love ye', Al. So much." Eric confessed.

"I love you too, Eric." Whispered Alan.

Eric looked around to see that it was getting late and he helped Alan stand up. "We best get goin'. Can ye' walk?" He asked.

"I think so." Alan responded. "But what about the other souls?" He asked.

"Damn the souls, Al. Does William-senpai know about this?"

"No. I was trying to come to terms with it myself. I thought I had more time..." He muttered.

"Then we're going back to the Dispatch." Eric said. "Right now."

~*~

"Are you nearly finished with those reports, Ronald?" Asked William.

"Aye, Senpai. 'Bout five more minutes." Ron replied, not looking up from the paperwork.

Will sighed. "Alright. I shall wait until you are done." Ronald nodded. "Do you want to go for a drink after this?" Will asked, surprising himself. "As colleagues, of course." William hastily added.

Ron looked up from the paperwork to smile at his superior. "Sure, Senpai." He grinned.

Will didn't really know why he asked Knox out for drinks. He rarely drank outside of work.  Still, this is a way for me to thank Knox for doing overtime tonight. After all, this is what he likes doing.  Will rationalised with himself.

"Alright! All done." Ron announced.

Before either of them could leave, there was a knock at the door.

"Enter!" Will called.

Eric Slingby entered the room with a worn out Alan at his side.

"What seems to be the problem, Slingby?" Will asked.

"Actually, er, it's Alan, Sir." Eric replied, eyeing the brunette next to him. "Do ye' want ta' tell him or should I?" Eric whispered to his partner.

"Can you do it?" Alan asked softly. "Please."

"Tell me what?" Will's eyes narrowed.

"Alan has... the Thorns of Death."

The room was silent.

"What?!" Ronald exclaimed. Both reapers turned around in shock, not noticing Ronald in the corner.

"Ron! Wha' are ye' doin' in here?"

Ronald scratched his head and his cheeks flushed a little. "I was jus' helpin' the Boss with reports, is all." He muttered.

"Is this true, Humphries?" Will asked, ignoring Eric and Ronald. Alan weakly nodded. Will's blood ran cold. Despite his cold exterior, he really did care for his workers and he wanted the best for them. He knew Eric and Alan's feelings for each other. Despite what others thought of him, Will was not a cold man at heart. He cleared his throat. "Very well. Thank you for informing me. I'll shall keep that in mind in the future." He said, trying to keep his professional tone.

Both reapers nodded before leaving the room. Will sighed and rubbed his temple.

"Boss?"

"Yes, Ronald?" Will asked quietly.

"Are you alright?" He asked, moving closer towards William with a look of concern on his face.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Will snapped defensively. Ron waved his hand in surrender, hurt coming across his features. Will sighed. "Sorry, Ron. Now how about that drink?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D'aaawww. So Willu is calling Ronald 'Ron.' How sweet.


	6. Drinks

The two reapers sat in silence at the pub until Ronald broke it.

"Do you think Alan-Senpai is going to be okay?" He asked, a hint of worry in his tone.

"I do not know" Replied Will with a small sigh. "There has never been a survivor of Shi No Toge." Seeing Ronald's panicked expression, he quickly added "But there is still hope. Humphries is an exceptional reaper."

"But you still think he's going to die, don't you?" Ronald said, sadly.

"There is still hope." Came Will's reply. "On a lighter topic, have you found anyone else at General Affairs?" Will was not usually someone to ask about people's personal lives, that was truly unprofessional, but it was after hours and he knew that Ronald needed a distraction.

"Er, no, not really."

Will's eyebrows furrowed. "Really? How come?" It did not go unnoticed by Will how attractive Ronald was. Surely he should have women swooning at his feet.

"They're not really my type." Ron replied, choosing his words carefully. "They're nice an' all, but there isn't any romance and I make sure they know that."

"So you're not romantically attracted to women, then?" Will didn't know why he was asking this. Surely this was very personal. What was it about Ronald that made him want to know more?

Ronald blushed. "No, Sir. I mean, they're nice to take out and that, but I don't find any interest in them as partners. I'm sure this probably surprises you a little, considering I'm known as the Dispatch's chick magnet."

"It doesn't surprise me as much as you think, Ronald. And you can call me William, you know. We're after hours." Will replied. "I know not to listen to idle office gossip."

Ronald tried to keep the smile off his face. "Okay then William. What about you?" Asked Ronald.

"What about me?" Came Will's confused reply.

"Got any lady friends on the scene?" He asked light heartedly but on the inside he was panicking.  What if William was already seeing someone? 

"Of course not. I'm far too busy for a relationship." Ron's heart plummeted at that. "Plus I, er, don't swing that way." He said quietly, his cheeks tinging pink.

Ron choked on his drink. "R-really?" He asked, trying to keep excitement out of his tone.  Will was single AND gay? He had a chance! No. Will would have no interest in him. He's too immature. Too careless. 

"Ronald?" Will's eyes furrowed as he saw a small frown make it's way onto the reaper's usually cheerful and carefree face. "What's wrong?" Will would never admit it to Ron, but the younger reaper was the reason why he wasn't a complete stoic work robot. Ronald reminded Will that there was more to life than work and reports.

"'Tis nothin'." Ronald mumbled. "What time is it?"

Will looked at his watch. "It is almost eleven thirty. We should get going soon, we have work tomorrow." Ron nodded and began to finish off the rest of his drink. In truth, Will didn't want to leave Ronald yet. He quite enjoyed spending time with the younger reaper. "I'll walk you home, if you want?" Will offered.

Ron's eyes lit up again and a smile worked itself back onto his face. "O-okay, sure."

After a few minutes, both Shinigami left the bar and made their way towards Ronald's flat. Will couldn't help but steal glances at his subordinate, admiring the way Ronald looked in the glow of the street lamps. He scolded himself.  This is not the way to act around your workers, Spears! But Ronald is so handsome in this light-  Will couldn't even believe what he was thinking. He couldn't think like that about Ronald! He was his Boss! And he was pretty sure Ronald wouldn't appreciate it...

"Well, this is me." Ronald said as they stopped in front of a small green door. Ronald looked at Will in the corner of his eye, blushing when he caught the older reaper looking at him. They both stared at each other for a while, neither saying anything. They didn't need to.

Before either of them could process it, Will grabbed Ron's face and kissed him softly. Ron stiffened, before relaxing into the kiss and wrapping his arms around Will's neck. Will quickly processed what he was doing and pulled away from the younger reaper.

"R-Ronald! I'm sorry that was unprofessional of me!" He stuttered as he backed away from the reaper and walked away from the apartment. Ronald's eyes widened and he tried to grab hold of Will's arm.

"Will wait!" He called but Will was already around the corner and out of his sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me.


	7. Will's Office

Will blamed it on the alcohol.

It had to be.

He could never have  feelings  for a subordinate.

That's absurd.

Unprofessional.

But it was the truth.

Ronald ignited feelings in Will that nobody else could. His carefree and rebellious nature made Will forget about all his stress, even if it was just for the short while that Ronald was in the room. Will knew he overworked himself and Ronald helped him calm down and he reminded him that there was more to life than paperwork. Nobody else could do that.

Only Ronnie.

Ronnie?  He thought to himself.

Yes, Ronnie. 

"S-Senpai?"

Will looked up from his desk and realized he'd spent nearly half an hour staring off into space. He glanced up to see Ronald scratching nervously at the back of his head.

"What is it, Knox?"

Ron flinched at the use of his last name. Will was angry at him. He'd truly messed up this time. Surely his boss would send him away to another department so he'd never have to look at him again.

"I have the reports from yesterday." He said, trying to keep his voice even, with some success.

"Thank you."

There was silence.

"Sir, I-"

"Just forget about what happened, Knox." Will was anxious. He was never good with feelings. He couldn't act on them. He was meant to be emotionless, stoic. That's what made up a reaper. But here he was, for the first time in his life he felt shy, almost afraid. He didn't know why.

"I don't want to forget it!" Ron's outburst surprised them both. "I refuse." He added quietly.

"Ronnie-"

"Didn't you feel anythin'? Was it just the alcohol? Was it-" Ron stopped. "Did you call me Ronnie?"

Will blanched. "Yes, I guess I did..." He muttered.

"What happened between us?" Ron asked quietly.

"I don't know." Will sighed. "I really don't."

"Then think." Ron said. "Did that... kiss... mean anythin' to you?" Ron's eyes were glassy. "Because it did to me."

"Ronnie... what are you saying?"

Ron knew there was no turning back now. He just had to say it. He just had to get it out in the open. He knew he was probably going to end up being sent away, what did he have to lose? "That... I have feelings for ya. Always have."

Will's eyes widened. "And... these feelings... what do they feel like?"

"They're hard to explain. I- I just know then when you're in the room I feel a lot lighter." He began to blush.

Will thought. If what Ronald was saying was true, then that's exactly how  he  felt around the younger reaper. Ron was the only person who could relax Will, even when he was causing trouble.

"Then... I think... we feel the same."

Ron stared, mouth agape. "W-what?"

"I don't know what it is about you, but you make me feel different, Ron. You make me feel alive. Gods... this is such a strange conversation to be having with you." He muttered. "I guess there's nothing for it."

Will got up from his chair and moved past the younger reaper, closing and locking his office door.

"Will, what are you-"

Will took the pile of reports still nestled in Ronald's hands and threw them behind him, not caring as they flew across his desk in a mismatched pile.

"Will!" Ron whined but was quickly shut up when the older reaper connected his lips against him. Ronald let out a small gasp and then began to kiss back, savouring Will's touch.

Will kissed him hard, slipping his tongue across Ron's lips, as if asking permission. Ron granted him access and Will began to explore his mouth, loving the feeling of their tongues entwining. Ron wrapped his arms around Will's neck, bringing him closer as Will ran his hands through the soft hair of his subordinate.

"I think..." Ron said between kisses. "I understand.... how you feel now."

Will hummed. "I should hope so." He said, huskily.

Eventually, they broke apart, both gasping for air.

"That was just-"

"Shut up." Will commanded as he went in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Squeals*


	8. Yer Not Going Ta' Die, Al!

Alan sighed as he left the office with Eric in tow. William took it like he expected him to, professional and emotionless. It made Alan wonder whether he'll be missed when he- no. No.

"Al, you look exhausted. Let's go home, ye'? I'll walk ye'." Eric offered.

Alan smiled tiredly. "Thank you, Eric." In his head, he hoped this special treatment wouldn't continue. He hated it, although he knew what Eric was like, he knew him well enough by now. Even thinking of Eric made him blush slightly.  Where do we stand now?  He thought. Since Alan's attack, they hadn't really spoken about their relationship. Were they friends? More than that? Alan didn't know. He wanted to ask but didn't know how to broach the subject.

As they left the office buildings, he watched as Eric half heartedly threw his scythe over his shoulder and whistled under his breath. The tune was soothing, echoing off the buildings of the empty street and Alan wanted to know what it was.

"It was a song me mother used ta' sing ta' me when I was lil'." Eric said, gaging Alan's facial expression.

"It's very beautiful." Alan commented.

"Not as pretty as you, flower." Eric said with a grin.

Alan blushed behind his hand. "I disagree. Maybe because that song is coming from you." He grinned back.

"Flirty aren't we this evening?" Eric chuckled. 

"You could say that." There was a pause. "Eric, where do we stand?" Eric raised an eyebrow. "I mean... what are we?"

"Whatever ye' want us ta' be, Alan." He said seriously.

"I-it's just that- I don't know! I'm dying, Eric..."

"Al don't say tha'. We'll find a cure."

Alan laughed under his breath. "You know, everyone keeps saying that. But there's no cure, Eric. I'm going to-"

"No." Eric cut him off. "I refuse ta' believe tha'. Not after all this time..." He sniffed. "Not now tha' I finally have ya'."

Alan pulled Eric towards him, wrapping the elder firmly in a hug. "I don't want to go." He whispered. "But it is my fate. You will always have me, Eric. Always. Even when my light has extinguished, I'll still be there."

Eric wrapped his arms tightly around Alan, being careful not to squish him. "I'll fix this." He whispered. "I won't let them take ye'."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short but I'm getting ready to go on holiday and that means I probably won't be able to post until I get back in a week's time. :/ Apologies! Anyways, I'll keep writing and then just upload it when I get back, coz I'm nice like that :p


	9. Alan, I'm So Sorry!

Eventually, the two reapers made it to Alan's flat. "Would you like to come in?" Asked Alan. It was the least he could do. After all, Eric was taking this extremely well.  Too well.  Alan thought to himself.

Eric smiled. "Thanks, Al. Tha' would be nice." In all honesty, Eric didn't want to be alone just yet. He couldn't face thinking about what will happen to Alan.

Both Shinigami entered the small apartment and Alan turned on the light in the living room. "Drink?" Alan offered.

"Ye' sure." Eric smiled.

Alan disappeared for a moment, only to reappear a couple of seconds later with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"What's the occasion?" Eric smirked.

Alan grinned. "Oh... I don't know... maybe it's in celebration for me finding the love of my life?"

Eric visibly blushed and then smirked again. "So ye' already had this pre-prepared? So sure of yourself, Humphries?" He grinned. Now it was Alan's turn to blush.

"Well- no- I- shut up Eric."

Eric chuckled as Alan huffed and poured the wine into the glasses before handing him one. They both drank in silence, enjoying each other's company.

"William-Senpai is going to have me on desk duty from now on." Alan said quietly.

"How do ye' know tha', Al?"

"I looked on the ledger as we left his office." Alan replied.

Eric grabbed hold of Alan's hand. "Al, I promised ye' I'd fix this and I mean it."

"There's nothing to fix! There is no cure, Eric. You know that!"

"You don't know for certain, Al. There's a rumour-"

"No, Eric." Alan cut him off. "I know of the rumour. Nobody is dying for me."

"But it could save you!" Exclaimed Eric. "I refuse to lose ye'."

"You don't have a choice!" Alan cried, standing up from the couch to face Eric. "This is terminal! I'm going to- I'm going to  die  Eric!"

"No!" Eric shouted, rising up from the couch also. "I won't let that happen! I  will  save you, Alan! Whatever the cost!"

"Even if it means  killing  people?! Innocent humans?! Your soul will become sordid!"

"I don't care about them, I care about you!"

"Well so do I! I care about  you,  Eric. I won't let you endanger yourself for me! You're just going to have to accept it-"

"I can't do that, Al' and you know it!"

"Well you have to!" Alan exclaimed. His breath hitched. Eric was still arguing but he couldn't hear him. Sound became muffled, like he was underwater. He could feel his chest begin to constrict from the stress. It was starting.

"....Alan? Al' can ye' hear me? Alan!"

His breath sped up and he closed his eyes tightly.  Was this his life now? To have attacks every day until he dies? 

"Alan?! Alan I'm so sorry!" Eric exclaimed, grabbing hold of the smaller reaper's shoulders. He should have known not to stress Alan out, the doctor even told him not to strain himself. How could he be so stupid?

Alan tried to concentrate on what Eric was saying but he couldn't register anything. He was scarcely aware that he couldn't breathe. His heart began to beat faster and he could hear it in his ears. Without warning, a stinging sensation shot from his wrists to his chest.

"Aghn!" Alan fell to his knees. Eric quickly caught him, guiding him to a sitting position on the floor.

"Yer gonna be alright, Al'. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Eric whispered in his ear. Alan's breathing was erratic and he was clutching his chest tightly, scared his heart would burst out of his chest. He kept his eyes squeezed shut and whimpered quietly.

"E-e-eric..." Alan stuttered.

"I'm here, flower. Breathe for me, okay? C'mon, Al. That's it." Eric slowed his breaths so Alan could copy.

Alan attempted to breathe slower and, after a few tries, he succeeded, the attack wearing off.

"There we go." Eric said gently. "Just keep copying me, alright?" Alan nodded, his head lulling slightly to the side as the attack took it's toll.

Soon Alan's breathing returned almost to normal. "Are you alright now- Alan?!" Eric cried in alarm as Alan wailed all of a sudden, clutching his left wrist. Eric lifted up his sleeve to see a small marking making it's way onto his partner's skin. Alan thrashed around wildly, tears streaming down his face as Eric watched in shock, trying to soothe him but to no avail. Alan kept on crying out as it felt like his blood vessels were ripping themselves apart from the inside. He felt alone, isolated. Pain was the last thing he could think of before going limp in Eric's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter was dramatic. I need to stop writing so much angst, it's probably not healthy. What do ya'll think so far? :)


	10. Young, Alone and Forgotten.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric can't handle this.

Eric stared at Alan's now limp form. He knew he shouldn't of stressed Alan out but he did it anyway.  Alan is dying. 

He slowly picked the brunette up, careful not to hurt him, and exited the living room. He went through Alan's extremely well kempt hallway and entered his equally tidy bedroom. He shifted Alan slightly in his arms.  When was the last time he ate? 

Alan may not be his student anymore, but old habits die hard, he supposed. He gently lay Alan onto the bed and grabbed a blanket from a nearby wicker chair. Alan lay still.

Eric sighed heavily, putting his head in his hands. He had to save Alan, whatever the cost. He couldn't just sit back and watch him die, god damn it! He rubbed at his eyes in frustration and blanched when his hands came back wet. He was crying? Eric never cried.

Get a hold of yourself, Slingby.  He thought.

Sighing, he picked up a book from Alan's shelf and began to read aimlessly. He didn't even read the title. He didn't even care. He just needed a distraction, anything to stop the thoughts whirling in his brain.

~*~

About half way through reading, Eric felt his eyes begin to droop. Before he could even comprehend it, Eric fell asleep in the wicker chair, still clutching tightly to the book.

The sky was grey. The grass was brown. Everything was dead. Was he dead? Eric didn't know. He looked around: nothing. Everything was dull. Lifeless. A bird squawked in the distance, then there was silence. The silence had always scared Eric, ever since he was a child. He hated the thought of being alone, or anyone else having to be alone, especially the ones he loved and cared for. 

He began to walk in a random direction, hoping to find someone, anyone, who could help him. In the back of his mind, he knew he was dreaming, but it didn't stop the panic from forming in his chest. 

He heard a woman giggle from his right. He whipped his head around. There was nothing. He froze. 

She giggled again. 

"Who's there?!" He called, getting defensive. He realized, much to his dismay, that he couldn't summon his scythe. He felt weak, powerless. 

"You're him. The one he always thinks about. So nice to see you in the flesh, Mr Slingby." The voice was taunting. 

"Where are ye'?! Show yerself!" 

"Why, I'm right here, silly." She appeared before him, a devilish smile on her lips. She wore a black dress and a black see through veil. She winked at him. 

"Who are ye'?!" 

"You don't know who I am?" She pouted slightly. "Oh how you wound me, Mr Slingby. I'm The Thorns!" She smiled, placing her hands on her hips. Eric stared at her in shock. "I thought I'd pay you a visit, you see. Alan thinks about you all the time. I thought it would be appropriate, seeing as I'm a part of him now." 

"Like hell you are!" Eric growled, menacingly. "Ye' won't be in 'im for long! I'm gonna-" 

"Ah yes, your little plan." She interrupted, putting on a bored expression. "Not going to work I'm afraid, dear. There's no way you're going to collect the souls in time." 

"What? How long does he have?!" 

"Now if I told you that, it wouldn't be any fun, would it?" She giggled. "Poor little Alan. He could never quite be a Shinigami, could he? Too many emotions. Perfect for me though!" She smiled. 

Eric lunged at her but she disappeared in front of him, her laughter echoing around him. Soon her laughter intensified and he felt himself being transported. He screwed his eyes shut. When he opened them again, he saw he was in a graveyard. His breath quickened. 

"Look behind yooouuuu!" The Thorns taunted. 

He could feel himself shaking, his whole body was telling him not to look around, but he felt compelled to. Slowly, his body turned. 

'Here Lies Alan Humphries' 

"No..." 

She giggled. "Oh yes, Mr Slingby. One day, he'll disappear. One day, he'll be ripped away from you. Poor little Alan will die young, alone and forgotten." 

Forgotten. 

Forgotten. 

Forgotten. 

Eric's eyes flew open, his heart beating manically in his chest. He tried to regulate his breathing and realized he was still sat in the chair from the night before. Calming down slightly, he looked around the room. Alan wasn't in the bed. His heart sped up again.

"Alan?!" He called. No response. He shot up from the chair, running from the room. "Alan! Alan! ALAN!"

"Eric, calm down, I'm right here!" Alan said from the doorway of the living room.

Eric ran towards Alan and pulled the smaller reaper into a tight hug.

"Eric? What's wrong? You're squishing me!" Alan complained.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Eric kept muttering over and over again. "I'll never leave you, I swear!"

"Eric, it's okay, I'm right here." Alan soothed, rubbing Eric's back softly in an effort to calm him down.

Eric cried into Alan's shoulder, his walls crashing down around him. In that moment, he needed Alan. Only Alan.

"I need you to calm down for me, okay?" Alan asked softly. Eric nodded into Alan's shoulder, slowing down his breathing. Alan brought Eric over to the couch.

They sat down together, Eric putting his head to Alan's chest.  A heartbeat. Alan's alive. Alan's okay. 

Alan ran his fingers through the elder reaper's hair, calming him. 

"I don't want to lose you." Eric whispered. 

"You won't." Alan replied. "I'll always be there, okay? Always." 

Eric looked up into Alan's eyes. "I love you." 

Alan blushed. "I love you too." He wiped a stray tear from Eric's face. There was a brief moment of silence. 

"Alan?" 

"Yes, Eric?" 

"Can I still take you on that date?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda feel bad for poor Eric. The Thorns really are a bitch. Please leave a comment if you enjoyed and I'll see you soon!


End file.
